Spot on. I recognize that I have work to do on what has been a lifetime of accepting my white privilege. Awareness is the first step, but only the beginning. It takes persistence and a desire to change. This helped! Thanks.
THANK YOU ELIZABETH! (yes, I'm yelling;) )...making nice, and playing nice has been historically a white culture thing that plays into white supremacy time and again. Nice can be very untrustworthy to BIPOC. Let's focus on being honest and just, and yielding to BIPOC -- not 'nice'.
Thank you for your words, your mentoring and your support in my journey to be a better activist and a better person. BTW, it’s not yelling...it’s passion.
After the events of Jan. 6, 2021 and the Inauguration I had a conversation with a very dear friend. We've remained friends despite the fact that I suspect she may have voted for DJT in 2016. She made it clear that she did not want to hear about my objections to him. I tried to honor her wishes but I did insert several opinions and truths as the years unfolded. She was happy and a bit proud that she voted for Joe Biden and knew I would be happy about that. But when conversation turned towards the Insurrection and the coming Impeachment she voiced a desire to "go back to more civility" and "why can't we just get along." I simply challenged her to rethink that because the "good old days weren't good at all for people of color. And the events of 1/6/21 shone a very bright light on the dangerous white supremacy that makes up the fabric of our nation. We ended the conversation on a positive note, with the promise of more conversation in the future. Changing hearts and minds is a long process. Thanks for pushing us to do that work. It is indeed essential in order to create a society that values all people.
You asked, "if you are making nice with your friends and neighbors and family members who voted for Trump or who excuse systemic and interpersonal racism, who are you helping?" Growing up when black history, much less American racism's deep roots, wasn't part of history class, I've also done (and continue to do) a lot of self education. I'm far from done. But your question was a lightbulb moment. After agonizing about walking away from a lifelong friend who's a Trump supporter and the poster woman for white fragility, I realize I made the right decision. As the graphic says, "I don't have time to go round and round and round. There's too much at stake and too much serious work to do.
I have never heard you yell. At times I can hear the passion and driving home of a point. I try to learn also. Sometimes it is hard undoing years of learned white supremacy because we didn't know that is what is was. Well we know now and if women haven't got that point yet we have lots more work than we think we do!
This was an epiphany to me, today. I think "keeping the peace" is literally in my DNA. I get physically sick when I can't fix or walk away from a conflict. It took me 4 years of counseling, education, reflection, and finally getting on anxiety meds before I was able to stop "being nice" to my parents and sister this summer... They have not called me in over 6 months. I am 42. My children are in College and I still struggle to "just let it go," as my husband would say. I know this is the right path, and yet it's still so hard. Today I'll blame my DNA. lol
I find that the older I get, the less I am willing to “play nice”. I’ve offended scores of people in the last several years but I’m at the age of “giving 0 fucks”. I have worked hard over the last 10+ years to learn about bias and how much internalized racism I have. It’s never comfortable, but it’s always satisfying to have those ah ha moments. Thank you for continuing to push us and these issues. We are soooo far from done.
Some people might consider your words as yelling, because they disrupt their comfort zone to hear about the racial injustice in our country so forthrightly. You speak passionately and boldly. That's not yelling. As an activist in the 60s and 70s I hope folks understand we need to stay vigilant, and use all of the new found expertise and knowledge on voters rights for every election hereafter. 45 awakened many people to the dark power play taking over our country from the right. Now we are blackbelts in understanding voter suppression tactics and the type of activism that counters it. Our blackbelts just mean that now we have become serious students of our art.
I subscribe to you because you’re passionate. You keep me thinking in new ways and spark me to research issues. When you get intense while speaking, I perk up and listen more closely. If at that point I’m uncomfortable, it’s time for introspection. Keep up the great work!
Thank you. All the people who are saying it's your delivery need to challenge themselves by reading "White Fragility". All the people who say we can't elect a person of color and must stick with the white guy cause he's the sure thing, need to look back into their own internalized bias. From personal experience none of this is easy or quickly done, but it must be done if we are to change the racial injustice and racism embedded in all us "white people". I thought the twitter thread shared a perspective that all of us need to consider. There's a lot of work to do in my own community. I am trying to address it one baby step at a time.
that really was very fascinating. its amazing how the patriarchy continues to divide and conquer so insidiously. fascinating to learn why white women are -really- so invested in racism... of course... your enslaved people did all the work... raised your kids. cleaned your house. dealt with anything you didnt feel like. and made you money. while you sat around fanning yourself on the porch. this really explains why on some level white women still want to make someone else do their work. all their work. this explains a lot. thanks for teaching me about this.
re: yelling whenever someone says that i try to imagine someone saying that to MLK jr during a sermon. can you imagine? i cant.
This was an article that I feel everyone needs to read. If you could make it free and public at sometime, it would benefit many. 💕🙏🏻💕 One thing I wanted to mention is the point about “yelling.” I think it’s tied to cognitive dissonance and feels uncomfortable. Good! That’s the goal I think!I remember ELC, those times on FB a few years ago where you were schooled by Black women. Your education was my education. It was sooooo uncomfortable, but it spurred me on to educate myself. I have learned a huge amount through you, those you follow and some of your followers. Thank you for your curiosity, humility, and courage. I hope these folks who feel uncomfortable recognize that’s a good thing. They are hearing something that doesn’t match their current knowledge and that’s how we make change.
I wish you would move back to PA—and help us elect Malcolm Kenyatta—if he chooses to run.
Spot on. I recognize that I have work to do on what has been a lifetime of accepting my white privilege. Awareness is the first step, but only the beginning. It takes persistence and a desire to change. This helped! Thanks.
THANK YOU ELIZABETH! (yes, I'm yelling;) )...making nice, and playing nice has been historically a white culture thing that plays into white supremacy time and again. Nice can be very untrustworthy to BIPOC. Let's focus on being honest and just, and yielding to BIPOC -- not 'nice'.
Thank you for your words, your mentoring and your support in my journey to be a better activist and a better person. BTW, it’s not yelling...it’s passion.
After the events of Jan. 6, 2021 and the Inauguration I had a conversation with a very dear friend. We've remained friends despite the fact that I suspect she may have voted for DJT in 2016. She made it clear that she did not want to hear about my objections to him. I tried to honor her wishes but I did insert several opinions and truths as the years unfolded. She was happy and a bit proud that she voted for Joe Biden and knew I would be happy about that. But when conversation turned towards the Insurrection and the coming Impeachment she voiced a desire to "go back to more civility" and "why can't we just get along." I simply challenged her to rethink that because the "good old days weren't good at all for people of color. And the events of 1/6/21 shone a very bright light on the dangerous white supremacy that makes up the fabric of our nation. We ended the conversation on a positive note, with the promise of more conversation in the future. Changing hearts and minds is a long process. Thanks for pushing us to do that work. It is indeed essential in order to create a society that values all people.
You asked, "if you are making nice with your friends and neighbors and family members who voted for Trump or who excuse systemic and interpersonal racism, who are you helping?" Growing up when black history, much less American racism's deep roots, wasn't part of history class, I've also done (and continue to do) a lot of self education. I'm far from done. But your question was a lightbulb moment. After agonizing about walking away from a lifelong friend who's a Trump supporter and the poster woman for white fragility, I realize I made the right decision. As the graphic says, "I don't have time to go round and round and round. There's too much at stake and too much serious work to do.
I have never heard you yell. At times I can hear the passion and driving home of a point. I try to learn also. Sometimes it is hard undoing years of learned white supremacy because we didn't know that is what is was. Well we know now and if women haven't got that point yet we have lots more work than we think we do!
This was an epiphany to me, today. I think "keeping the peace" is literally in my DNA. I get physically sick when I can't fix or walk away from a conflict. It took me 4 years of counseling, education, reflection, and finally getting on anxiety meds before I was able to stop "being nice" to my parents and sister this summer... They have not called me in over 6 months. I am 42. My children are in College and I still struggle to "just let it go," as my husband would say. I know this is the right path, and yet it's still so hard. Today I'll blame my DNA. lol
I find that the older I get, the less I am willing to “play nice”. I’ve offended scores of people in the last several years but I’m at the age of “giving 0 fucks”. I have worked hard over the last 10+ years to learn about bias and how much internalized racism I have. It’s never comfortable, but it’s always satisfying to have those ah ha moments. Thank you for continuing to push us and these issues. We are soooo far from done.
Some people might consider your words as yelling, because they disrupt their comfort zone to hear about the racial injustice in our country so forthrightly. You speak passionately and boldly. That's not yelling. As an activist in the 60s and 70s I hope folks understand we need to stay vigilant, and use all of the new found expertise and knowledge on voters rights for every election hereafter. 45 awakened many people to the dark power play taking over our country from the right. Now we are blackbelts in understanding voter suppression tactics and the type of activism that counters it. Our blackbelts just mean that now we have become serious students of our art.
Sitting here strategizing about what “not making nice” will need to look like in my own life. Thank you Elizabeth.
I subscribe to you because you’re passionate. You keep me thinking in new ways and spark me to research issues. When you get intense while speaking, I perk up and listen more closely. If at that point I’m uncomfortable, it’s time for introspection. Keep up the great work!
Thank you. All the people who are saying it's your delivery need to challenge themselves by reading "White Fragility". All the people who say we can't elect a person of color and must stick with the white guy cause he's the sure thing, need to look back into their own internalized bias. From personal experience none of this is easy or quickly done, but it must be done if we are to change the racial injustice and racism embedded in all us "white people". I thought the twitter thread shared a perspective that all of us need to consider. There's a lot of work to do in my own community. I am trying to address it one baby step at a time.
that really was very fascinating. its amazing how the patriarchy continues to divide and conquer so insidiously. fascinating to learn why white women are -really- so invested in racism... of course... your enslaved people did all the work... raised your kids. cleaned your house. dealt with anything you didnt feel like. and made you money. while you sat around fanning yourself on the porch. this really explains why on some level white women still want to make someone else do their work. all their work. this explains a lot. thanks for teaching me about this.
re: yelling whenever someone says that i try to imagine someone saying that to MLK jr during a sermon. can you imagine? i cant.
This was an article that I feel everyone needs to read. If you could make it free and public at sometime, it would benefit many. 💕🙏🏻💕 One thing I wanted to mention is the point about “yelling.” I think it’s tied to cognitive dissonance and feels uncomfortable. Good! That’s the goal I think!I remember ELC, those times on FB a few years ago where you were schooled by Black women. Your education was my education. It was sooooo uncomfortable, but it spurred me on to educate myself. I have learned a huge amount through you, those you follow and some of your followers. Thank you for your curiosity, humility, and courage. I hope these folks who feel uncomfortable recognize that’s a good thing. They are hearing something that doesn’t match their current knowledge and that’s how we make change.