Survival Strategies For Right Now
Getting Through It
Over the past few weeks, as we await the end of Roe, mass shootings are an everyday occurrence, the January 6th hearings show us the depth of the rot in our government, white supremacists target pride events, and climate crises loom, you may be wondering (as I have) how to survive this.
The stark reality is that a lot of us have not survived what’s happened in our country in the last six years, and given where we are, survival is not a given for anyone. That said, there are some strategies, both emotional and political, that we’ve been discussing over in our vibrant community known as The Atelier over the past few weeks, that support our mutual survival in the present moment.
As a result, in place of my usual essay on law and politics today, I’m sharing four survival strategies that you can engage with right now.
Community.
For at least the last eighteen months over on my thrice weekly live Q&A known as The Broadcast with ECM, I’ve been talking about the importance of local community.
From the earliest days of the pandemic, local community was a lifeline for many of us. If we couldn’t leave our homes, we relied on others to help us out. When I got my first shot of Moderna and was felled for two days as a single mom, my friend and neighbor with whom I was Covid-podded came and took my kids to her house, brought me Tylenol, and made me a delightful Brazilian version (she’s from there) of chicken soup.
In the current moment, knowing your neighbors and engaging with your local community remains a matter of life and death. As we face down deteriorating social conditions, we’re going to need places where we know we are safe. For the folks who feel as though they are “blue dots in a sea of red,” please trust that there are others like you where you live– you just may not know them yet.
Seek out community with like-minded people through local progressive causes and organizations. A few is all you need. Whether to vent or to organize, having folks who we can trust is key. And the good news is that once you know eachother, you can work together across a multitude of issues of mutual support, and even elections.
Lastly, show up and check in. As someone who tends toward personal isolation, it means the world to me when someone asks how I’m doing or offers to help me with something, because I am not usually good at asking for help. I am endeavoring to give to get, and checking in more with folks in my circle on whom I know I can rely.
Mutual Aid.
Mutual Aid is so important that we’ve spent the entire month of June inside The Atelier focusing on how to create it. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, Mutual Aid is a concept based in sustaining relationships of support, described by prison abolitionist Mariame Kaba as “cooperation for the sake of the common good,” while organizing for systemic and cultural change.1
Kaba has further stated:
“[Mutual aid] is premised on solidarity and not charity, and that's really important. It rejects saviorism. It rejects hierarchy and authoritarianism. It marries community service with political education and political activism that's actually focused on challenging power and oppressive systems.”2
“[M]utual aid says actually plug yourself in, however, you can. Find out whether you can coordinate some fundraising for people who are out of work. How can you be advocating for . . . the release of prisoners and incarcerated people, figuring out who is isolated just in your community, in the house next door? Are there elderly people who need support, who need somebody to go grocery shopping for them, who needs somebody to take them to the hospital, not because they’re, you know, infected with the coronavirus, but because they desperately need to go and get their heart tests or something else that’s going on. How do we make sure that people have enough to eat in terms of their groceries? And how do we — all that stuff is mutual aid work.”3
Most importantly, Mutual Aid takes us beyond the current immediate struggle and into long-term, sustainable relationships that change society.
“I think one of the most important parts about mutual aid has to do with changing the social relationships that we have amongst each other, in order to be able to fight beyond this current moment, beyond the current crisis, beyond the current form of a disaster that we’re trying to overcome. And so, one of the beautiful aspects is that you really don’t know where the connections are going to take you. You’re going to make and build new relationships that will kind of lead to new projects and will lead to new understandings, that will shape the potential future of, you know, your community and beyond.”4
So how do you create Mutual Aid? It’s actually quite easy to start, and it can take as little as two people. Who do you know who might be willing to show up and offer support to those in need? Who do you know who might need support that you can provide? Make a list, and ask for support and help, or offer it.
Mariame Kaba and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wrote a Mutual Aid toolkit for the pandemic, which you can access here; the same principles apply to the current moment.
Mutual Aid can help to sustain us through even the darkest moments of struggle. Create it where you live.
Emotional Stability In Times of Struggle.
As I have discussed quite a bit on my Twitter feed in recent months, I’m currently engaged in trauma therapy related to a complex PTSD diagnosis arising out of childhood trauma and adult domestic violence. Through that process, I’ve learned a lot about how our emotional landscape works, about self-regulation, and skills to create real self-soothing and self-management when current events trigger us to panic.
Mental health care is expensive and should be free to everyone; that it is not is one of the great harms of our time. That said, there are some extraordinary online resources that are free that can assist anyone in creating better emotional health in the short-term that I encourage you to check out if you are struggling.
Personally, I have needed an understanding of what triggers me to anxiety about the current political and environmental landscape. I am no good to anyone if I can’t keep going to create change and peace in my own home, while still dealing with the reality of the present moment.
I have taken steps to limit my online engagement more, as well, as I discovered fairly quickly that doomscrolling is not healthy for me. Staying grounded in present circumstances while working to better the future, and making sure that I self-manage when my fear or panic feels out of control, is key.
Here are some online resources that may assist you in doing the same:
Riding the Wave of Emotional Response
Taking Action.
Taking action is a surefire way to shift your perspective on what is possible in the current moment.
As the queer/trans activist Dean Spade has said, “In my experience, it is more engagement that actually enlivens us—more curiosity, more willingness to see the harm that surrounds us, and ask how we can relate to it differently. Being more engaged with the complex and painful realities we face, and with thoughtful, committed action alongside others for justice, feels much better than numbing out or making token, self-consoling charity gestures. It feels good to let our values guide every part of our lives.”
Action is the antithesis to the freeze response that comes when we are scared that many of us are dealing with in the current political climate. Most of us can be doing quite a bit more than we are at the moment in terms of taking action.
Taking action means investing your time and efforts into assisting others and advocating for change even when it might not show immediate results. It goes far beyond showing up for a periodic protest, and into long-term engagement with causes, issues and people.
Consider your skill-set and your gifts. Where might those be of service to creating a better world? What causes and organizations call to you? Show up, place a phone call, and ask how you can help.
Just this past weekend, at a Juneteenth event in my area, I came across a booth for a local legal organization supporting anti-discrimination legal efforts at work. It’s been a long time since I practiced law, but I can certainly lend my time and skills toward assisting those who are in need in finding free legal help to combat discrimination. This is but one way local action can help those in my community to lead better, more just and free lives.
I urge you to think through how taking action can benefit you and benefit others. Even just a few hours of your time can be a recipe for the survival of other people, and yourself.
Thanks for reading today. Let me know in the comments what your current strategies for survival are and how they’re working for you.
https://www.thedigitalabolitionist.com/blog/mariame-kaba-and-mutual-aid-hub
https://www.thedp.com/article/2021/02/penn-bars-conference-mariame-kaba#:~:text=%E2%80%9C%5BMutual%20aid%5D%20is%20premised,challenging%20power%20and%20oppressive%20systems.%E2%80%9D
https://www.thedigitalabolitionist.com/blog/mariame-kaba-and-mutual-aid-hub
https://www.thedigitalabolitionist.com/blog/mariame-kaba-and-mutual-aid-hub
The hardest part for me is being an empath. I have always been open to other people's emotions and it is hard to just shut it off. I can easily put myself into other people's shoes and sometimes agonize over all the trauma that is going on. My family is my ground and they pull me back from the brink often. I would be lost without them!
Thank you, thank you. These exact four things together are my every day reality. For over a decade, teaching self-regulation and sensory-integration practices to marginalized populations in juvenile detention, mental health and recovery settings. And training hundreds of others across the country to do the same. One seed planted at a time. One ripple in the vast sea, on some days, making big waves. Doing this work with humility and feeling so very nourished and healed through being of service to others.