This Swirling Mess of Political Uncertainty
How are we supposed to survive it? A small proposal.
So, confession time: I have complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder resulting from years of trauma– domestic, family of origin, and more. Every day, on my journey to healing from cPTSD, I learn something new.
Recently, I learned that this thing that happens to me from time to time, where I wake up in the middle of the night and my mind starts to spin out on horrible things that could happen and the sense of being trapped with no escape, has a diagnostic name.
This phenomenon in people with cPTSD is called Night Terrors. I have them. Oh joy.
But even when it’s not 2:50 am, I find myself these days in the daylight having to fight to keep from spinning out into doomsday scenarios that run circles around my brain– What if Trump wins? What if disinformation takes a stranglehold on a certain group of voters and those voters sit out the general? What if Trump goes to prison and Nikki Haley becomes a palpable option for suburban white women even though she’s in favor of a national abortion ban and aligns with Trump on virtually every policy position? What if, god forbid, we have another violent insurrection after November, a la January 6th?
Today, I’ll admit, is one of those days. Anxiety got a hold of me this morning (and yesterday, and the day before), sank its claws in, and refused to let go.
Now, I’m a relational organizer by trade, a commentator, a mobilization trainer, a coach, and a former trial lawyer. My job has always been to keep going when the going gets tough– even when the wolves are at the door, and even when my fight/flight response is barely in check. I feel an obligation to keep treading water, even just barely, for the sake of those who rely on me for optimism and hope.
But lately? That strategy doesn’t seem to be the healthiest approach.
Because how can we survive the onslaught of disinformation, fascist whitewashing, a failing media, and the threat to those we love who are trans, nonbinary, immigrants, and more, without admitting where we really are?
So I have adopted something today that I’d like to share with you: the Radical Pause.
In the middle of the night last night, when I was spinning out into another cycle of terror, I gave myself permission today, for just today, to do nothing beyond the bare minimum. Just what I needed to do to keep the doors open on my business. Just what I needed to do to make sure my kids are safe, healthy and fed. Just what I needed to do, and nothing more.
This Radical Pause will not last long, but it is going to last today, and maybe tomorrow. I feel the looming adrenal fatigue and burnout hovering around me like a nicotine cloud, and I can’t allow it to take hold.
I want to encourage you to take a Radical Pause today if you feel the same. Just check out for a day. Do only what’s required, and nothing more. Do only the necessary for 24 hours, or 48, and nothing more.
We have so far to go. The doom cycle is endless, and it’s on us to end it.
But we can’t do that if we don’t recognize the terror, and give ourselves a moment to process it, feel it, seek relief, and get grounded.
Take your Radical Pause. The work will be there when you return, and we will keep moving forward to save democracy, together.
We will survive, arm in arm, if we know when to pause and breathe, and then get back to doing the good work, and commit to repeating that cycle as needed between now and November, and for as long as it takes.
Wishing you peace today.
Love,
~ECM
As a vocalist, who was singing in choirs since childhood, training for years taught me the need to take a breath at the right time-for me. A choir can sustain a note for far longer than one single individual can sustain on their own because each member takes a breath when they need to.
We are a choir, we all have our part, AND we all need to take a breath when we need.
I take those radical pauses more frequently now. Americans and other global citizens concerned about rising fascism since trump came on the scene have been collectively traumatized with by the Bsnnon playbook of flooding the zone with shit. But reminder! Take a break. Others pick up the fight when you rest. It's a team sport to fight for democracy!!